Not Making This Any Easier

I am a Southern girl with a Southern son and I am doing my best to teach him to be a Southern gentleman (as opposed to the type of Southern man that can be described in other ways).  Don’t get me wrong, I laugh to the point of tears when I hear a Jeff Foxworthy routine but, given the choice, I would rather not live one.

Anyway…

There are several things that I am working to teach my children.  These are not new ideas.  Many people would call them old-fashioned, but I consider them to be some of “the basics” as far as manners and civility are concerned:

• Keep your white bucks clean.
• Always have a pair of white bucks to wear between Easter and Labor Day.
• Say “Ma’am” and “Sir” when answering grownups.
• Miss (fill in the first name of a grownup here) or Mister (fill in the first name of a grownup here) is not appropriate for children older than 3, or maybe 4.  Mrs. _____________ and Mr. _________________ is what grownups should be called.
• Please, Thank You, Your Welcome and No Thank You are not negotiable.
• Spanking is always an option.
• Eating is not a competition or a race to see who finishes first.
• Men (and boys) do not wear hats inside.
• Men should always open doors for women (even after they are married).

For the most part, my children know and understand these basics.  We are working on them using them ALL THE TIME instead of accidentally but that is another story.  What I am having the most trouble with, right now, is teaching my son to leave his hat somewhere other than his head when he is under a roof!  The growing numbers of men and boys that I see wearing hats inside are not making this lesson any easier.  I have no problem explaining (and defending the seeming “double standard”) that women can wear hats anytime and anyplace, but I have yet to make a decent argument for why it’s OK for some men to wear hats inside while I make him take his off.

“I know they are wearing a hat inside but WE don’t do that,” as an explanation isn’t going to cut it forever!

Maybe taking hats off in public is old-fashioned…Maybe it doesn’t matter that much since most men don’t wear hats anymore…Maybe I need to pick a battle that means more in terms of the big picture…

But I don’t want to. I want to fight this battle, even if it is an “old-fashioned” one.

I want to see my son’s face when I am across the table from him at a restaurant.

I want his bright eyes and table manners not to be overshadowed by the logo of a sports team.

I want him to know that removing his hat is a sign of respect.

I want to watch him take it off because he really feels respect for the other people around him, not because I told him he had to.

Someday, I want his dates to gaze into eyes she can see instead of having to hunch down to find him under the brim of a hat!

I don’t think I am being unreasonable here.  All I am asking is that no man, anywhere EVER wear a hat inside a building again.  It will make teaching this lesson to my son a whole lot easier!